I cannot express what I exactly feel right now. But all I want to do is to share this grief I have. And in the end, I would need any guidance from people out there who is a Mom or a Mom in a making.

A few weeks from now, a dear friend of mine will give birth to their first baby boy. I have now this sad feeling {let’s say envy} and asking myself on a daily basis why I and hubby don’t have our little Oweini yet. While eating dinner, I asked Sweety one question that made my day {everyday} a disaster. The question was “Are you sad that it’ll be 1 year of marriage and we still don’t have our little Hesham?” – he answered me by saying: “60% I’m asking myself why. Was it me or you that have the setback? But 40% of the answer I know that it’s the will of Allah why up to now we don’t our little Oweini.” —– 60/40? It’s like saying 60% was because of me.

Ewan ko ba. I feel guilty though because part of me is not ready to be a mom but another half is ready. Which is which, I don’t know!

Before getting married was not at all in my plans, I swear. I was happy being single – was involved with someone but never imagined that I will cross that line. So now, being a parent is totally beyond {for now} my responsibilities. Aside from being so stress with work, I’m also {still and I think forever} supporting my parents’ needs. I myself am totally not financially ready. A close friend of mine told me that it’s okay for me to continuously support my parents because in reality my husband will support the needs our baby and mine. Well, that’s true. I never thought of that actually. Haay buhay makulay!

You know, every month I keep on waiting for the girl thing but when it comes I feel bad about it. Coz I know we didn’t succeed again. But you know again, I feel happy. Hay naku ewan ko ba! Ako ata ang may topak eh.

I know in God’s time… Insha-Allah when I’m emotionally ready… Little Oweini will surprise me all of a sudden. For now, I’ll think of it in a positive way and just enjoy our lives together. Marami nga jan ilang years ng kasal wala parin anak diba? We’re both young naman diba? I think I’m just paranoid noh? Hehehe!

Anyway, thanks for staying with me thru this feeling. I appreciate your time reading, hehe! Libangin ko nalang muna sarili para di ko muna isipin ang topic na ‘to.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

Yup yup yup! It’s time for Ms Yen’s  QOTW. It’s for the 9th week but it’s my 7th only. hehehe! If you’re new about this, snag the button below and join in to her QOTW every Wednesday GMT Time.

 

1. What’s your favorite candy? Anything for as long as its mint.
2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Why? I was hoping a place that has Winter Season – I love snow! But unfortunately puro middle east ang napupuntahan ko, naman!
3. What was the last movie that made you cry? “A Love Story” and “Inay Yaya” starring Diamond Star, Maricel Soriano.
4. I wish someone would invent………? Electronic Shoe Maker – where you’ll just enter or insert the design you like and the machine will copy it by itself. Tada!
5. Have you ever experienced being scared to death? Please share.. – my “MEET THE PARENTS ADVENTURE” last September 2007 where hubby and I stayed for a month with my family-in-laws in Damascus, Syria. It was so scary! Imagine me surrounded with people who speak Arabic and my ever first time in another country + the fact thinking if my parents-in-law will like me or not. But it turned out fine and so positive. Mama and Papa loved me more than their son, hahaha! Bias ito kung bias.
6. What time is it now? It’s almost 5:00 pm (+3:00)
7. What’s your favorite flavor of cake? Just ate blueberry cheese cake take out by hubby from Opera Café last night. But if there’s no other selection, it’s okay to get Chocolate cake instead.
8. Your favorite pair of shoes? Omg! Can’t decide, I have I think 10 pairs and I wore a different one every time we go out.
9. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? I bought it but not for me, for Mom – LOTTO addict!
10. Have you ever hung up on somebody? Was working in a call center for 3 years and even though it’s FORBIDDEN to hung up on the customer, I still do it. Who cares? I’d rather end the line rather than continuously hearing an irate/arrogant/self-centered person complaining on such issues. Bitter ever! 😆
 

Was tagged by Ms Litzie by answering random questions about my husband. These are facts about our marriage life. Naks naman! Thanks te Litzie! 😀

How long did you date? For about 8 months only. I thought I believed in long engagement, hahaha!

How old is he? He just turned 27 last October. He’s older than me 2 months.

Who eats more? My goodness! No need to think, HIM!

Who said “I love you” first? When we were still dating, no one say the 3 words. We we’re not expecting that our relationship will end in marriage. Wallah! But when destiny was trying to separate us, he said I LOVE YOU first. oh diba? Surprise! 😉

Who is taller? He is.

Who sings better? Ehem! Hate to admit but singing is one of God’s gift to me. Cebuano kaya ang tatay ko kaya mahilig kumanta. Hubby on the other side sings well, but Arabic songs lang since whenever he sings English songs, the lyrics of the songs sounds funny 😆

Who is smarter? He is – no doubt!

Whose temper is worse? Hehe! Malamang ako! 😀

Who does the laundry? The washing machine – gotta grab the same answer Ms Litzie. I’m terrible in washing clothes by hands. 

Who does the dishes? Whenever I make lambing, he does. But it’s always me. What to do? He’ll get back at me asking “Why is washing the dishes the work of a husband?” so instead of arguing, I will do it nalang 😉

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? He does since it’s near the door. Doesn’t make sense right?

Who pays the bills? He does. It’s his work not mine. That’s the good thing about our marriage. I never think of the expenses. Cook food only, hehehe! 😆

Who mows the lawn? Lawn of loan? 😆

Who cooks dinner? “The role of a wife is to serve his husband” – famous line by hubby. So who else cook, me!

Who drives when you are together? He does… since I’m a nervous freak on the road.

Who is more stubborn? Both of us! Hahaha!

Who kissed who first? My goodness! Him! Kulang nalang tanggalin nya ang pisngi ko kakahalik, charot!

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? I asked hubby to answer this question, he said “Both of us Sweety.” – That’s true. Because both of us will sacrifice if we don’t say our sorries.

Whose parents do you see the most? Oh men! We’re both separated with them. However, last year we got to see his family. On the other hand, it’ll be 2 years since I last seen my loving Daddy and Mommy. Oh how I miss them!

Who proposed? Aba! Siya noh! 😆 Pa-Maria Clara effect ata ito 😉

Who is more sensitive? Both of us, hahaha!

Who has more friends? Huh? Hihihi! Can’t answer that since his friends are my friends and my friends is his friends.

Who has more siblings? Hubby.

Who wears the pants in the family? As in jeans or what?

Yup, that’s me! The little fat boy has a dinner meeting with our General Manager tonight at Chilli’s. Wanted to come but it’s so informal me being there with all the boys around. He wants to make suhol for me though. He wanted me to order food just to make me feel okay, but I don’t have the mood to eat. You know, eating alone makes me sick. Hahaha!

So far, while being alone I’ve seen 8 episodes of Season 4 – Friends. As I’ve said, I’m addicted to it. Phoebe’s pregnant. You know, because Frank Jr.’s wife is too old to give birth. So Phoebe’s on call to use her uterus for the process. Hahaha! Adik!

Now, I’ve nothing to say…

Oh wait, I joined Ms Yen’s contest. The top commenter wins! Madali lang to! I just hope that I will always have access to the net in order to check her site. Wish ko lang manalo ako diba? 😀

Another thing, isn’t it we have this Sunday thing with the little boy’s friends. Well, tonight we have to postponed it. Got to stay home kasi. I’m so freakin’ tired! I want to sleep and sleep and sleep.

Now, I’m getting bored again…

Oh wait, have I told you that I hubby got me a new phone? Yup yup yup… I’m a certified Motorola user now. Hihihi! It’s so cute and fancy. Good thing about it is that it’s PINK. Yup yup yup, love Pink. Well, I know having Motorola V3i is so old fashion already, but you know that if you want durability – Motorola calls it. During our training days, one of the Motorola guys put this V3i unfolded and hit it with it’s fist. Grabe! Hindi nasira! Oh diba, talking about durability huh? I know it’s old classy and everything but I’ve been craving for having a folding phone. Getting bored of having a bar phone kasi. What to do? But I still have my N73 with me. Put my Smart Roaming SIM in it. Got to used with the keys of Motorola though. Slight different kasi, hahaha! Soft keys and all.

Now, I’m running out of stories. Hahaha! The End.

Time for the exciting QOTW of Ms Yen.  Ehem! I have to congratulate myself since it didn’t took me 3 days to answer it, hehehe! 😆

1.What is your middle name? MALASAGA when I was still single, now it’s LOBITANA.
2. Favorite new fashion trend? Hmmm… hard question Ms Yen… let me think… I guess… anything basta I’ll feel comfortable.
3. Did you play with Barbies as a child? Everybody love Barbie & Ken. I had one, too bad I don’t have Ken – “Come on Barbie let’s go party…”
4. Ever call in “fake” sick to work? Done it numerous times!
5. What was the last concert you attended? “BSB Never Gone Tour” in Araneta last 20th of January 2006. That was my first and last major concert ever seen – I was with someone special and so close to my heart, my ever and only BestFriend.
6. What do you needlessly obsess over? Watching Season 1-10 of the old time famous FRIENDS.
7. Who was the last person you called? The fat boy – Sweety!
8. What is the weather like outside? The air is somehow cool.
9. Laptop or Desktop? Laptop, hehehe! 😀
10. What’s for dinner tonight? Cooked TINOLANG MANOK – this was supposedly for tomorrow coz I want to wake up late but unfortunately I craved sipping the soup of it, so I ended up eating it. Hahaha! I prepared simple Pasta with melted cheese for hubby {by demand}.